I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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