I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize