Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
they're like a gay fantastic four
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
