If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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