turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
