Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
