ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
