cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize