He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
