Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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