I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
