Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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