You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
