Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
