nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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