omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize