If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
