NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Randomize
