Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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