I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize