i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
