there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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