i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
