He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
