3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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