i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
