bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
