My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
