I can't breathe out the right side of my face
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
This toilet bowl is my home.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
