one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
