The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
She even gives head with a lisp.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
