After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
