the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
