Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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