I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
