before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
