i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
