lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
it's like iHOP with fire
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize