You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
