oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Pooping to opera.
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