garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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