I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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