We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
