i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Randomize
