Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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