Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
