I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I want to make a zoo with you.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
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