Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize