he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
