look no pants
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
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