ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
