I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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