hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
