We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
