in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Randomize
