I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
