I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
