I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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