My friends, they love my intelligence
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I stole a fireplace last night.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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