weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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