people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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