i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
