he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize