Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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