OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
