Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
