If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
