So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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