it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
