Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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